Dreadlocks for your children

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Permalink Reply by Lisa on February 13, 2009 at 11:41am

Ah, I found your post;) Well, as I shared in the other thread, my childrens father is from Africa and is very conservative. He is not involved in our lives, but a while back when we were together he told me that I had to cut my sons hair that it was not for me to make this decision. He raised his voice to me and was very stern about it..I felt and still do feel strongly otherwise. I feel like I AM making the decision for him by cutting it....now, when my children are old enough to make a conscious choice about their hair and if they want it cut then that is their choice and it will be done. When are they old enough to make that conscious choice...I am not sure and maybe it differs with children. My son that will be 3 in two weeks loves his hair as we talk about it....and we will continue talking about it. If it happens that he begins to be bothered by it for whatever reason my hope is that we will talk through it and come to the best choice for him. I feel that my choice is being made from not vanity, but a spiritual perspective. The hair is a part of him and my daughter...it is a part of their culture and their identity....there is wisdom in those locks. We talk about these things too.

I talked with an African American family the other day here in Mexico in the park. The mom was saying she had cut and relaxed her daughters hair (etc) who was 3. We talked about 'why' and she loved my sons hair and said 'don't ever cut it, it is a part of him and his personality.' We talked too about why she could not seem to do that with her daughter and she said because she is a girl...and society says we HAVE to be a certain way and her community would not accept it. I honor that...and understand it...she was mad almost it seemed about it. As she should be....I say, be yourself and honor your culture regardless of what society says.

I was in awe when the kids father who was in Cote 'd Ivoire had a brother that was almost 40 years old come from France to visit the family. My kids fathers father who was in his 60s (kids grandfather) yelled at him and said that he insisted he hold his brother down and cut those things off RIGHT NOW..the brother was literally running to be free from having his hair cut off. He was almost 40 years old!! I know there are differences in culture and that must be excepted too, but I was in awe!! Then we got into the circumcision discussion..and that is a whhhhhoooole other conversation;)

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Permalink Reply by Lisa on February 14, 2009 at 5:26pm

Applause Trina!! I am a white mama of my two African Canadian children and without the support of their African father still want them to embrace their African heritage and be proud of it...it is a little tricky being white;) I totally agree with what you have said and feel very strongly about it..It is very sad...I am so happy that you and your son are embracing your power and culture and not allowing society to conform you!!!! Peace be with you...

Lisa

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