How I came to the raw lifestyle and how it's been since...

Following is an email that I sent out to just about everyone I knew, this past October. It details most of the story of my journey to the raw lifestyle, and how things have been pretty recently. It was written shortly after I moved from NYC back to San Francisco. And in the past 2 months so much has continued to shift again. Thanks for reading...Here you go...

Hi Everyone.
I started to write out this story on a raw foods website. As I was writing, I realized that who I really want to share this with is you- people from all of my communities- people who have loved and supported me throughout many different periods of my life. I really want to share with you that my life is transforming. I am not sure that I can explain it all in words, and I want to share with you what I can. My intention here, is all about love. I love you. I love my life. And I am extremely grateful for everything that has happened along the way to place me on this path.

My name is Savrah , (yes, it's new- again- you can call me flan, or lisa too). I've been eating just about 100% raw since mid April 2007. It happened pretty suddenly, and really organically. It's kind of a long story, which I haven't written before. Thanks for offering the space for me to post it here.

Last March, I spontaneously lost most of the vision in my left eye, which was really scary. I thought I had a brain tumor, so I went to see some doctors, (not my usual style, but I was pretty freaked out), who eventually sent me to have an MRI- yikes. Two neurologists concurred that I had this condition called Optic Neuritis, (an inflammation of the optic nerve). They also both concluded that there were some little white lesions in my brain, that led them to the conclusion that I had a 50% chance of having some other "flare up", and being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis over the next year. They were both really into the idea that I should go on intravenous meds several times a week for the rest of my life, which may or may not prevent the possible onset of this "disease". I was not at all interested in this possibility.

It took me less than a week to get it that this was a huge wake up call. Some major things in my way of being in the world needed to change, or else I might get really sick.

At the time I was going to 2 schools. One was The Natural Gourmet Institute for Health and Culinary Arts, where I was learning about vegan, whole foods cooking and nutrition. The other was the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, where I was studying to be a Holistic Health Counselor. On paper, I looked pretty healthy. I was really trying hard to be an exceptional student and person. What I wasn't really aware of was how ridiculously STRESSED OUT I was, and had always been. I was operating under this assumption that the way to health and happiness had something to do with knowing everything there was to know about being healthy, being the BEST at doing all of the RIGHT things, and being completely in control of my thoughts, feelings, actions, and all of my relationships. I was also physically overcommitted in my daily life, yet I believe that most of the stress was really coming from my mindset more than from my lifestyle. Somehow, I had it in my mind that there was this way to be called "perfect", and that the only way to find happiness was to become that way, and the only way to do that was to try really, really hard all the time. It was kind of like the image of a hamster running and running on the wheel, and never actually getting anywhere.

As I had learned, the Optic Neuritis, was an "itis", which means- inflammation. And I had also learned that inflammation, the cause of most, if not all, disease- is a result of stress. Clearly, it was time to reduce stress in my life. So here's what I did:

I dropped out of culinary school, 3 weeks from the end of the course. That was huge, when I realized that not only did I not need to finish the program- I actually didn't even want to! I had gotten tons from my experience there, and I knew that working in a restaurant wasn't something I was headed towards. Then I found a really great Naturopathic doctor, (Dr. Norman Suhu) that I started seeing every few weeks. He would check my blood to make sure everything was in balance, and try to get me to take lots of homeopathic remedies, which I did at first, and then eventually refused because I just couldn't wrap my mind around keeping up with the regimen. I got connected with an amazing acupuncturist, (Dr. Shao), who I began seeing weekly. His main goal was to restore balance to my body and mind, and to focus on what is going well, versus what might happen sometime in the future. I also started getting bodywork about once a week. This was HUGE! In the past I had always thought that massage was a treat- something that I could allow myself on special occasions. At this time, I began exploring more energetic types of bodywork, including craniosacral massage, and polarity balancing. Both were amazing, and I quickly tuned in to how deeply relaxing, and vital they were for my system. After almost a month, I was gearing up to lead a group through a 3 week Spring Cleanse. I had a sense that it would be useful for me to detox physically, though I had no intentions of going raw.

Shortly before the cleanse, a friend lent me a book just written by this guy named Matt Goodman called, "Holy Shit! How I Did It". The book told the true story of how Matt was diagnosed with MS, went paralyzed in his legs, tried the drugs which didn't help, went off the drugs and started eating raw, and eventually went on to hike 1600 miles of the Appalachian Trail. I was inspired by Matt's story, yet I thought his raw diet was a crazy idea. It's funny- earlier in the school year, David Wolfe, (a raw foods "guru"), had come to lecture at my school, and I had a similar reaction. I appreciated how much energy he had, and I thought- "Cool that it's working for him, and that's definitely not for me!". I really had spent so much of the prior few years pretty dedicated to a macrobiotic style of eating, in which raw foods play a very minor role. I was so trained to understand balance in a particular way, that going raw just seemed WAY too extreme.

Our cleanse was pretty simple and mostly self designed. The parameters were that beginning on the first day, each person would choose 3 things to take out of their diet or lifestyle, and 3 things to add in. This could be, for example taking out wheat, dairy, and television, and adding in meditation, going to sleep at 10pm each night, and dark leafy greens. It was really very different for each person, depending on their typical habits, and also on how deep they wanted to go. Every 3 days we would go deeper- taking out 3 more things, and adding in 3 more things. When we got to the deepest phase of the cleanse, this looked different for each person. Some folks were eating raw fruits and veggies, some people were juicing, some were on the master cleanse, and some were eating whole foods- nothing out of a package, and some were simply abstaining from coffee, drugs and cigarettes and adding in some yoga. The main thing that I was really interested in, was that each person was continually checking in with themselves, with their intuition and with their bodies, about what the next phase really ought to look like. Since I was leading the others in the cleanse, I was really committed to following this practice myself. I meditated each day and listened to inner voices which were very clear on what I should do next. During the deepest part of the cleanse I was eating raw fruits and vegetables. I didn't go any deeper, because it just didn't feel right. As we were supposed to be coming out of the cleanse, I got a strong message that said, "I don't want any grains or beans. In fact, I really don't want any cooked food at all". I was kind of surprised at this, and somehow kind of relieved at the same time. So, I listened to the voice and continued to eat only raw food.

That was the middle of April. Now it is the end of October. It has been 6 months, and in some ways I feel as though the journey is really beginning right now.

I feel like that whole story happened almost in another lifetime, because my experience since that time has been absolutely mindblowing, in every possible way! Here is a little synopsis of how things are now:

Physical Transformations: My skin cleared up after a lifetime of acne. I have more energy than I have ever had. I generally sleep between 5-6 hours a night, and wake up fully refreshed. I lost a bunch of weight without doing anything to make it happen. I eat whatever I want, whenever I want- which is something I really don't think I've ever done before. I still have times when I eat emotionally- like overeating fruit or nuts- and this somehow feels okay for the first time ever. It's like I know to trust my body in a really new and satisfying way, and I am learning to love my body as I never had before. I eat virtually ALL organic or better, vegan, raw food, that either I prepare for myself, or I get at a very limited array of restaurants, (Cafe Gratitude in SF, and in NY- Pure Food and Wine, Caravan of Dreams, Bonobos, Quintessence, Jubb's Longevity, Raw Soul). My digestion is slowly, and surely evening out- to be graphic I mean that I am pooping daily, in a healthy way for the first time in years.

Emotional and Spiritual Transformations: I am full of love and joy all the time. I am ever so grateful for being alive, for all of my relationships, for everything in my life. I am so sensitive that I can literally feel other people's feelings. I am extremely responsive to energetic bodywork, which really serves to aid in my ability to more fully relax. For the first time ever, I am experiencing so many spiritual ideas that I have learned about intellectually for so many years- it feels like I am actually remembering things that have been forgotten for a loooong time- (maybe even from before this lifetime). I am referring to really feeling our connection- really experiencing oneness- that you and I are little reflections of each other- little pieces of the divine- that we are the divine. I get it that there is no judgement, that there is no right and wrong, that all of our stories, and ideas, are really just made up...they don't exist. I get it that I, that we, really have the ability to create the world exactly as we'd like it to be. And that we can have whatever we want for ourselves, and for each other, and for the planet.

And what I want, is to share this love with you. I'm not saying that every single moment is easy. It's not. I am not saying that I have figured out how to live the perfect life. Moreso, I have discovered that what is, right now, is exactly as it should be- and that...is beautiful, perfect, amazing, outstanding!

I am really present to all of the times and ways in which I have done things to push away love, things which may have left you feeling hurt. I apologize to all of you, for all of those things, those times. And I look forward to getting to explore and connect with you personally, to clear up any messiness, to start fresh. I also look forward to the times when I act in these ways again- as reminders of what is true, and as practice in creating the world that I want to live in.

I have always known that what is important to me, for my life, is honesty, integrity, connection with others, and love. I have gotten many messages along the way that have said that I was too idealistic, that I was naive or immature, that I wasn't good enough, or deserving enough, or smart enough, or pretty enough, or thin enough, or WHATEVER enough to have what I want. And now- suddenly, finally, miraculously...I get it! I am enough. You are enough. We are MORE than enough to have the world be everything we want it to be. And I am no longer willing to accept anything less than the BEST. So, this is a declaration. It is not so say that I will not have doubts. I have doubts all the time. I think that's what it means to be human. I am sharing this with you because I want your help. I want your support. Whenever I am showing up to you as less than EVERYTHING IS LOVE- I implore you to remind me that I am love, that I am, and you are, the divine. WE ARE. And we can create an amazing reality, out of the ability we have to support each other.

Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for your amazing support. Thank you for joining me on this fantastic journey.

I love you.
Love,
Savrah