Social Life

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Rob Hoover on May 5, 2009 at 4:53pm

Hi,
It takes guts to do this so good on you for showing courage!
The first thing you need to do is fortify yourself and your own purpose for being raw so that others cannot easily dissuade you.
Eat before you go out and bring snacks.
If you really have to make a compromise and eat some of the food offered - you won't drop dead on the spot - so donm't stress about it.
Get more raw friends!
Explain to your company what your situation is and most people are gonna cut you some slack except the rude and ignorant and well that's their problem. You'll need to avoid such people or get a thicker skin.
You will have to make some adjustments in your social schedule.
Being raw makes you unique whereas most people are just following the herd so think of yourself as kind of a special guest there - someone important to be respected and people will respect that.

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Permalink Reply by Eric Farris on May 5, 2009 at 5:34pm

What I did was gravitate mostly toward other people doing the same kind of things. I believe this applies to any aspect of lifestyle, whether it's related to eating, athletics, business, mentality, etc. I found the local raw vegan network/community in Seattle and "plugged in". It became my main social network of friends. Since they have similar interests, outlooks, beliefs, attitudes, it made things pretty easy, and in fact reinforced me on my path. Spending time with other raw foodists was probably the most helpful thing I did to keep me going the way I wanted to. When I did it alone, it was inconsistent.

When hanging out with non-raw people though, what I do is focus on the other aspects of how I connect with them. I concentrate on what brings us together rather than what separates us. We are all unique in many ways, yet we all have a lot in common as fellow human beings as well. To answer Rodney King, yes, we CAN all get along.

Sometimes people crack jokes. I don't take offense to it though. I don't get the sense of any hostility. A lot of the time it's pretty funny and I laugh along with them.

I agree with most of what the first replier said here too. Bringing and eating my own food is pretty standard practice almost wherever I go, because eating organic whenever possible is important to me too, besides just the raw part.

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Permalink Reply by Zoe on June 2, 2009 at 8:23pm

I've never experienced any negativity at all. Sometimes I don't mention it, sometimes I do. The response has always been really positive. I have found that people are intrigued to hear about this way of life, people enjoy meeting others who different things to them, it is a buzz to have conversations about raw food.
If I want to eat cooked vegan food then i have some, it is no big deal. If I want a salad and juice then I have that. If I don't make it an issue then it isn't an issue for anyone else.
I used to have a housemate who had a rare disorder which meant that she could only eat a tiny amount of protein because too much would literally kill her. It's like a one in 50 million type of thing. As protein is in pretty much every food on the planet (contrary to popular belief!) All she could eat was this awful bread that came in a tin from the chemists, weird drinks that were from the chemists and very little else, I often think of her now, and realise that even being raw vegan my life is so, so much easier than hers ever will be. I feel like a glutton in paradise compared to how she has to live her life. You know she never complained about it, she just got on with it. No-one except us who shared a house with her even knew about it. This was when I was at University. There is huge variety of different food to eat, once you get into it more you'll see. It just takes time and exploration to realise that fruit and vegetables are big and in abundance in the world ;) You will be surprised at how quickly this just becomes normal for you. But there is a learning curve at the beginning, after that it is so easy peasy, really.

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Permalink Reply by G Love on August 16, 2009 at 10:57pm

Hey there C,
Interesting post.
I make sure to eat before I go anywhere if I possibly can, and always carry some raw food bars with me if I need to something to tide me over.
It is challenging anyway you cut it; every time I go out with someone for the first time I have to decide how much to reveal and what to eat/ drink when we are out.
Everyone has their own level of strictness too. I will sometimes get a salad and even if the dressing is not 100% raw, well, that it why I say I am "mostly raw." Or I'll sip on a glass of wine at a party to put others at ease. Others will not compromise at all for social reasons and I respect them greatly for that.

My hope is to actually start hanging out with more raw food people so this would not be an issue!. Even though that is not always easy when none of your preexisting friends share your eating habits and inertia tends to keep us hanging out with the same crowd, it is possible and the effort seems to be slowly paying off for me. Good luck!
p.s. I just saw the other responses already and I guess the advice seems to overlap a lot :)

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Permalink Reply by Crunch on August 18, 2009 at 6:27pm

Hi there,

I didn't find it easy when I was first raw at social gatherings, and people's reactions sometimes made me feel a bit wierd for being raw! Also, denying food at family's houses made me feel bad, because they had made a special effort to make food and it could come across as rude. None of my friends here in Cornwall are raw, either, including my partner. My enthusiasm for raw foods and the changes I was going through weren't understood by them at first, but then....It became normal to me to be raw, family started making salads and offering fruit, and everyone was giving me compliments about how good I looked. Score! It was worth it!

I've found, too, that the more detoxed you are, the more yourself, confident and energetic you become. Great party spirit!

People also love you bringing raw desserts to their parties, and of course this the best advert for a raw lifestyle! Hehe! Best of luck with your raw journey! :)

love and light, Jessie x

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Permalink Reply by Manon on August 27, 2009 at 11:53am

I've not started raw yet (but I do eat lots of raw fruit and tend to cook my own things from scratch etc, not junk), and this is something I was worrying about too. I hardly ever drink, and once I went 't-total' and did that for about 18 months, and got SO fed up with people saying 'are you SURE you're having fun' and 'Are you an alcoholic' (sadly one of the most common ones as if its so odd not to drink - certainly here in the UK), and stuff like that. They'd also get really worried because I wasn't drunk and they were and they'd embarass themselves. I now drink sometimes (rarely), but can take it or leave it. Sometimes i don't drink socially and nobody minds these days (however i don't live in london anymore either). So i worry the same would happen with the raw thing.

My worry with going raw is that i'd not be able to go out to dinner with friends (not something i do alot as i can't afford it, but do go occaisonally), and when going to friends for dinner, the idea of bringing my own little tupperware container of raw goodies would be a bit rude.

How do you ease yourself in and your loved ones? Particularly my partner who would probably never consider going completely raw.

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Permalink Reply by svelte_in_la on August 27, 2009 at 12:15pm

Has not affected my social life whatsoever. I live in L.A. No one bats an eye when you order a salad for the umteenth time.

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Permalink Reply by Charles on August 27, 2009 at 12:56pm

Same in NYC.

It's weird with my non-raw friends, of course, but I've always been the weird one anyway, so they're used to my little eccentricities.

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Permalink Reply by svelte_in_la on August 27, 2009 at 1:05pm

Most of my friends are non-raw and eat meat. They don't remark about my food. I guess they don't notice and it never occurred to them.

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Permalink Reply by derryckl on August 27, 2009 at 12:47pm

I find it is a bit "full on" to tell people that you only eat uncooked nuts seeds, veg and fruit. Usually, I just order salads when out with friends. It is not a big deal. If asked, I just say that I am vegetarian (or vegan depending on who it is). If there is interest and no raised eyebrows (precursor to freaking out), I casually mention that I am mostly raw. That is often a whole new conversation starter. I am not an expert, but I find that being raw does require a greater degree of knowledge about what you put into your mouth - a lot of my friends (flatteringly) consider me an expert. lol.

Friends who knew me before might wonder why I am not eating wings or drinking beer. For beer, I just say that I am driving. Most also know that I had a horrible capacity for beer beforehand.

Because I also try to follow the Daylight Diet, that is more of a challenge when I go out at night, because I am usually then drinking only water and looking for an early bedtime!!! I see little point in late nights, when early mornings are so much more fun! That is the killer.

All in all, I have not found raw a social issue. People are awakening to raw. People understand why others are raw, they often wish that they could do it themselves, but somehow believe that they cannot do without meat, dairy, wheat, cooked, whatever...

Good luck on your journey. It really is a journey, not a destination, so try to enjoy what you see around each bend in the road.

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Permalink Reply by Abhi - ThisVeryMoment on September 6, 2009 at 6:38am

In most cultures & groups, food is about SHARING, COMMUNITY & PARTICIPATION. Thats a dual edged sword.

Dont have to push or potray that you are Raw as a big deal. If you dont judge people who eat whatever, they probably will let you be. It would be harder to participate, but you can downplay that by participating in other ways.. increasing the comradeship with people.

PS: You can always get away with saying I had a protein smoothie before I came in. Im gonna stick with a light salad or Blah Blah.. Do your thing, dont try to PROVE your thing to others. Ego wars over which diet is better will break bridges.

Just BE & Let BE. Fly under the radar or dont let the activate their Food Radar.. Subtle & Graceful

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Permalink Reply by JessBhappy on September 6, 2009 at 8:42am

Caelina,

No problem here, just a amazing positive experience here. I really don't care what people think.

I feel it is our mindset, when we truly feel happy and sure about our new path and lifestyle within our self and deep in our hart, then we can shine and be free. Also accepting the others and what they eat or drink. I am so beyond the food or drink, I connect with people on deeper levels where none of this or anything matters anyway.

I have been partying for the last 7 days dancing, talking and being myself without drinking and the people and new friends I just met just like me the way I am. They seem to want to learn more. Just be an example.

I love letting go without any kind of drugs, and it takes guts to do that. It's so much fun.

I just drink water all night long and sometimes put the water in a fancy glass with a slice of orange, lime or lemon in it.
The people I am around say wow can't believe you can be so opened, alive and have so much fun on just water.
One of my new friends wants to quit drinking now.

Everyone thinks I am high on something, I don't need to drink or have drugs, I am so happy and high on life:)

It gets better with time and the longer you do it the better you will feel about it. Just think about how your liver and brain are thanking you in advance, no more hangovers and such in the AM.

Hope this makes sense.

Keep it up. Be happy and well. Health is #1

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