Relationships, for guys and gals

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Permalink Reply by Ian on January 27, 2009 at 6:06pm

Work on your listening skills.

And after working on them, you may get to a point just when you think these skills have reached the level you need them to be ........ work on them some more.

That is my advice.

Ian

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Permalink Reply by Kim Caldwell on January 27, 2009 at 8:42pm

I really need listening skills but I have so much to say.

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Permalink Reply by Ian on January 28, 2009 at 10:20am

but I have so much to say.

Who, you? I would have never guessed!

;-)

Ian

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Permalink Reply by elliott on January 27, 2009 at 6:33pm

That's probably one of the toughest questions you can ask. But if I were to answer it, from the man's side, i'd say:

- Don't leave the toilet seat up, EVER.
- If your wrong, admit it.
- Flowers and chocolate are excellent when you fight to make up.
- If you don't like rules, you won't like relationships.
- Pray, and i mean PRAY, you meet a nice sane girl. (No offense ladies, but there are a few women(and men) who are nuts).

Of course this is just from my experience. I could be way off :)

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Permalink Reply by Martbook on January 27, 2009 at 6:56pm

The only relationship we have is with ourselves....and then we can share with an other/s.

So I suggest that anyone who wants to open up their life with others to explore inwards. Get in touch with yourself, own your emotions, do the work!!!!

Life is only a mirror of our inner life. Our life is a movie we script, direct and cast by the choices we make..conscious and unconscious.

So the more you are open with yourself, the cleaner your inner dialogue is, the more you love yourself, the more you will attract and invite and be able to connect with others.

And you will make choices within the context of that relationship that will be meaningful because you will be connected to your own inner truth and your red flags will go off when you waver.

To change the world....change yourself!!!!!

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Permalink Reply by Rande on January 27, 2009 at 7:48pm

in response to elliots above post

i guess i'm not your average girl cause i find a lot of this a bit silly...like the games we play and the expectations we have keep us from just being normal people around each other. i mean, dont take my advice cause i'm sure most girls would agree with this list but i couldnt care less about the toilet seat, i think flowers and chocolate are ridiculous and cliche, and i certainly dont think there are hard and fast rules to any relationship. it all seems so limiting. and obviously nothing against you, as you said this is just from your experience, i just think there are so many different kinds of people and ways to have relationships if that makes sense.

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Permalink Reply by elliott on January 27, 2009 at 8:09pm

I agree 100% that the things I mentioned are silly. BUT, anyone who has been in a relationship for more than 3 months has dealt with these things, guaranteed! I think it's just human nature, especially when you live with someone and the initial "love" feeling starts wearing off and you see the "regular" daily person.

On the bright side, if you never went through silly stuff and argued, you'd never have the fun make up sex. lol

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Permalink Reply by Anita Avalos on January 27, 2009 at 9:44pm

That's why I said, be real and be you from the get go!! Because, like you said, Elliott, a few months in, that cute little thing he/she does ain't so cute anymore when it never really jived with you to begin with...you just told yourself it did, aka you lied to yourself! I once dated a lovely man who partied a little too hard and we used to argue over him drinking too much when we went out. That shit was cute the first night we met at a Cinco de Mayo party at a bar and had a shot together. But when I think back now, how could I expect him to drink less when I met him at a bar! I'm not saying meeting at a bar is bad; I'm just saying I didn't meet him at yoga or a raw food meet-up. I was complaining about something that he liked to do..drink...but hello!! I met him at a bar! That's what people do at a bar! He still is one of my best friends, but as his friend, I don't have to deal with a sloppy fool at the end of the night. We all gotta enter things with what is really in front of us, not what we'd like to be in front of us. That doesn't honor anyone!! Be Real!!

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Permalink Reply by elliott on January 28, 2009 at 6:04am

Lol @ the sloppy fool at the end of the night. I can definitely relate to that one, considering a long time ago I was the sloppy fool coming home to women who had to deal with me. Not sure why drunk guys constantly say "I love you baby!", did yours do that? lol

I love your road "road dog" term. Haven't heard that in a while!!!

I'm with you on the being real part, more people need to be themselves!

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Permalink Reply by Lauren O on January 28, 2009 at 10:39pm

the toilet seat will get you, either he will not lift it up and drip on the seat or he will lift it and not put it down, both ways cause problems for middle of the night tired foggy eyed bathroom trips, trust me my boo has both issues. and if you are a wet towels off the furniture freak (as i was raised from my parents) beware, thats a big thing i know i nag about! my boo is good about it though he knows i just dont want our furniture ruined.

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Permalink Reply by elliott on January 28, 2009 at 11:03pm

Haha. I used to get in trouble for leaving the wet towel on the bed. Or not closing the cupboard drawers in the kitchen, man that one was a HUGE issue.

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Permalink Reply by s on January 28, 2009 at 11:19pm

i have to have not only the seat but the toilet lid down as well; otherwise, my cat plays in the toilet water and tracks it all over the house. nast.
s

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