My future.
Hi there. Im just putting down my feelings about my self, you know writing a letter then burning it or talking to angles about your life, I thought l would start a diary of sorts on line. Put my self out there the bad and the good.
I have been doing a lot of thinking latey about my life and self. Im in my early 40's and lm unhappy with a lot of it. Not with my children and husband but my choises and were lm at now. I heard a saying that go somthing like this "if you dont like somthing you should change it right". The question is "how".
I have spent so long feeling sorry for my self that lm now in a place l dont know how to step out.
Fear, putting my self down, what if l make a fool of my self or l fail, l could keep going for ages.
I have met so many people older then my self, living the result of this and l now plan not to be one.
Areas l need to change about me.
> How l think aboout my self.
>My heatlh.
>study
>relationships with other people.
>The relationship l have with my self.
Just a start, like every one, we're had hard times and still will. I now want to be able to meet those hard times head on. And be the one who is standing on the pile with my family. How do l get there.
Health, I haven't been well for while. Stress is a big part and poor diet over the years, fear of gaining wight and what l have done to my self, not to gain weight.
Right now trying to change my life but l m hitting a brick wall becouse l m so tired, dizzy, sceard, l panic when talking to anyone then there is study. I seem to set my self up to fail.
I wront keep going.
My hair is fulling out all the time. Right now l need to start to get up ealer at least 5am. But l so tired that l can't get my head off the pillow, when l do go to bed l cant sleep
I better go.
Thanks Laurelann.
I have been doing a lot of thinking latey about my life and self. Im in my early 40's and lm unhappy with a lot of it. Not with my children and husband but my choises and were lm at now. I heard a saying that go somthing like this "if you dont like somthing you should change it right". The question is "how".
I have spent so long feeling sorry for my self that lm now in a place l dont know how to step out.
Fear, putting my self down, what if l make a fool of my self or l fail, l could keep going for ages.
I have met so many people older then my self, living the result of this and l now plan not to be one.
Areas l need to change about me.
> How l think aboout my self.
>My heatlh.
>study
>relationships with other people.
>The relationship l have with my self.
Just a start, like every one, we're had hard times and still will. I now want to be able to meet those hard times head on. And be the one who is standing on the pile with my family. How do l get there.
Health, I haven't been well for while. Stress is a big part and poor diet over the years, fear of gaining wight and what l have done to my self, not to gain weight.
Right now trying to change my life but l m hitting a brick wall becouse l m so tired, dizzy, sceard, l panic when talking to anyone then there is study. I seem to set my self up to fail.
I wront keep going.
My hair is fulling out all the time. Right now l need to start to get up ealer at least 5am. But l so tired that l can't get my head off the pillow, when l do go to bed l cant sleep
I better go.
Thanks Laurelann.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Elizabeth on
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why do you need to get up at 5am!! XD
My hair falls out too. Actually I was thinking about hair and hair falling out while I was just in the bath (one of my friends is my age but so seriously balding =( =( )
btw i am 24/f and my friend is a male but also 24 (he is SO bald!). he is soooooo unhealthy and I am unhealthy too but not so much as he. Anyways I was thinking about hair falling out and how when out bodies are starved of minerals etc, it will eventually leech out anything it can from hair etc and that's why it is a good indicator of our health, to a certain extent. FYI I have only heard this in passing, not actually fully researched it yet tho would like to.
Anyways put nutrients back in your body, hair will most likely stop falling out, and then possibly go back to 'normal' and then maybe better than ever. I always wonder to which extent this is true.
I was wondering if my friend stopped totally abusing himself via high doses of le alcohol+smoking+bad eating habits... would he stop being bald etc? Sorry I am totally thinking out loud in your blog but maybe you could do with such pondering lol I duno.
I do know also that when my iron is low in particular, my hair REALLY starts disappearing. No one really notices and I have no bald patches - it is not that bad, but *I* notice it because my hair no = lush and thick like it could be! It's all lifeless and blah too.
The first time I was experimenting with raw foodism my hair started to grow back (I have since gone back and forth between excellent eating, and well the polar opposite). My hair (and face and body) is suffering currently. Anyways.
/Coconut oil = essential! I don't like to eat any oils that aren't raw. So as unprocessed as possible, yaya.
/Rosemary (fresh leaves). Good for promoting hair growth, shine, sexiness I am not fully sure why but I HAVE noticed a difference hehe (and it is good in salads!)
/Raw cacao. Packed with totally fab things. Minerals galore. Way way high in iron btw.
/An abundance of dark green leaves! Especially in smoothies (or I guess juices but I have never done this)
These are all things that made me glow, my hair grow, my weight fall off, my depression disappear
Tho possibly all temporary if one does not follow through with the mind, and changing thought patterns which I did later on... after all that amazingness reversed itself...
I am having sleep issues too right now. Eat the wrong things all day, and especially into the night..can't fall asleep..then eventually do but then can't wake up... sort of feels also like there is not much to wake up for. I'd rather be unconscious and dreaming instead of being awake... etc!
Why/when do you panic btw? I used to have panic attacks too. Sometimes still I can feel them creeping through me. I may have some things that could help u with yours if you want.
And what about the studying? I don't understand the studying....sorz.
anyways much love@u
<3 just breathe.
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Permalink Reply by Ryan V. on -
What Lissa says is true, but you obviously can't leave it at that. Be at peace with where you are first, because it has lessons that are going to make you a better person. Realize that you are not simply a product of circumstances or who even you or others perceive you to be. You are a divine being here to show that divinity. Show it by accepting the imperfections and problems with grace, knowing that they will pass. Life is not necessarily perfect, and yet, if we are willing to learn from it, it will perfect us. And that is what matters.
To change how you think about yourself, think of yourself as potential. Who you are has yet to manifest itself, so don't be angry with what you see. Realize that you have a divine birthright. Let go of how others may perceive you, you are love. They may not see it, it may be hard to express, but that is who and what you are. Even if you only wish to be love, this is proof enough that you are. You are infinite. Your being embraces the universe. You are eternal. You always have been and always will be. Let go of all other self-perceptions, they are but passing shadows.
Your health is going to get better. The fact that you are on this site shows your desire, and the law of attraction states that desire attracts.
Study - do what you can. Don't worry about doing what you can't, it won't change anything . . .
Relationships with other people - that will change as your relationship to yourself does. Other people don't see you how THEY see you, they see you as YOU see you.
My two cents!
Wish you the best
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Permalink Reply by Laurelann on -
Thankyou for your replys they are wonderful. l work out almost each day and it would be great if l could get it out of the way early.
I panice when l study more then ever when l have a test, you know overload the working memory and it is all gone and by the time it comes back the test is over. This is not a one off event it happens all the times.
I better go try to get some sleep.
Thanks
Laurelann.
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Permalink Reply by Ryan V. on
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Yes, I've found it's better to study a little each day to prepare for a test then all the night before . . . Besides, you're doing this because you want to learn right?
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Permalink Reply by Erika on -
Hey Laurelann!
If you want to see some changes in your life I think you should start with yourself, do some inner cleaning and healing... It looks like you feel you are "not good enough". But according to whose standards?? You should really accept and love yourself as you are. Know that you are perfect just the way you are, and there is nothing you are "supposed to do" or "should do"... You should only do what you love, what inspires you, don't worry about what somebody else thinks about you or expects of you...
You say you want a change but don't know how to get there... Well I like how many spiritual and motivational teachers say that all you need to know is WHAT you want, and WHY you want it. And the HOWS will show up! And remember that what you keep you attention focused on that always grows :)
If you feel like you are not certain what you would like to be, do or have, but you know that there is something more for you, then I would suggest to read some GOOD books (listen to audiobooks if you are too busy for reading) and watch inspiring movies. It really helps to better understand who you are, your inner most desires, the purpose of life, etc.
Personally I would recommend watching (or reading) You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, also have you heard about the law of attraction...Well you may want to check this out: www.abraham-hicks.com (if you'd Iike I could share more of my favourite authors and documentaries)
So...Just focus on the good stuff in your life. Be grateful. See beautiful things all around you. Forgive. Don't judge or compare. Don't worry about anything. Let go of any anger, resentment, or other negative feeling... Always find a reason to feel good! And if you still feel depressed get some loud crazy music and go dancing to raise your vibrations :)
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Permalink Reply by aililiu on -
pick up "you can heal your life" by louise hay. im working with it right now, and its incredible.
bless :)
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Permalink Reply by Erika on
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You also talk about constant fear and panic... What is it that you are afraid of?? Think about it. Cause most of the time it's just an illusion. We are afraid of things that don't even exist...
You may wanna stop watching tv if you haven't already... It seems like they've been programming us with all kinds of fear through media...
I also like what Neale Donald Walsh says about the emotion of fear:
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Permalink Reply by lemoned on -
Hi! Well, the first thing that come to my mind is that you have quite a to-do list there that you want to tackle. Maybe some probs could be solved if you took smaller steps, make smaller goals. For instance, solving a problem that will solve others along with it may be the first one to look at.
If you feel better healthwise, your panic and fear may also diminish along with it.
Many times I think about my personal road and end up with a sigh and "oh boy!" - guilt and also wrong past decisions can be overwhelming. It's hard to really not let that part of your life anymore. Because it's past, it's not here anymore. Realizing that takes away a lot of burden and you can focus on the next thing.
Don't be discouraged if it doesn't work out right away, most importantly don't give up :)
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