Hello all, I apologize if something I'm about to write is offensive to anyone.
I've been dealing with disordered body image and eating habits for my entire life. When I was 15 I developed anorexia, which turned into bulimia and binge eating when I was 17-18.
At that time I also started to smoke to deal with my anxiety around food. At first it was just experiemental, but you know how it goes.. I am 19 now and I smoke around 12 cigarettes daily.
About 4 months ago I stumbled into Raw Foods. It all made perfect sense to me and I started eating more and more raw foods. I've shaped my eating since then to fit the 80/10/10 principles, and I'm feeling happier than ever. It seems like all my desire to binge has vanished along with my depression and anxiety. I never dreamed that I could let go of those things so easily. I don't feel any cravings for my formerly worst enemies - bread and candies. I've even gotten around my controlling behaviour and counting calories since I've really started appreciating my bodys needs and thinking of food as fuel, not some kind of dark demon it was for me such a long time.
Now that I'm at this point I've realized how stupid and hazardous my smoking habit is. The only thing keeping me back is weight gain.
I know it is far better to gain those extra pounds than be slave for those cancer sticks for the rest of my life.
But I consider myself a lost case, I'm at a healthy weight at the moment, but I still feel ridiculously conscious about my body. Yes, I go to theraphy reguralry. It's just such a scary thing to think myself gaining any weight. It really get's me an anxiety attack to even think about it.
I am sorry if I sound superficial. I just need to know if I will be able to keep my weight stable by contiuning to eat low fat raw diet after I quit. Do you think I should count my calories? I was planning on adding some extra exercise as well.
I appreciate all comments and advise.
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