Ideal Sexual Experience?
Hi Everyone! Has this been covered before? If not, I am curious what works for you or what you feel is missing. For instance most women prefer to have more cuddling afterwards and the guy is completely distant. ..
How can a woman feel like she is really loved in a relationship? How can there be a positive experience for both people?
How can a woman feel like she is really loved in a relationship? How can there be a positive experience for both people?
Tags: love, porn, sex, spirituality
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by AwesomeUniverse!!! on -
Time isn't everything either. But intimacy is. That's why I am asking the question- it's a hard thing to describe and I was wondering why this happens. It's like so many guys are sexual psychopaths- there is nothing there- just love \ soul-sucking black holes.
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Permalink Reply by Si Dawson on -
Wow. Yeah, boy, you really know the wrong men.
I know a few screwed up guys - even some that might fit that category (extrapolating a little from their internal behaviour around me).. but many, MANY who aren't even close to that description.
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Permalink Reply by AwesomeUniverse!!! on
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What bothers me is that it seriously only takes about 30 seconds of niceness for someone to feel loved or appreciated and it's like that is too much of an effort for MOST guys. I mean count to 30 and see how long it takes. Even thinking a positive thought about someone for that long is like a miracle for most people.
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Permalink Reply by plethorax on -
Sounds like you are listing some components of the *un*ideal sexual experience for you ;) For me, yeah, emotional/spiritual intimacy has to go hand in hand with physical intimacy or it all feels extremely hollow & unconscious, like I'm underwater the whole time. My ideal sexual experience is a "waking up" of my ENTIRE body, mind, and spirit with another person who also wants to be awake/awakened with me.
I am extremely leery of attributing characteristics to "most men" or "most women" since I identify as female and have definitely been the one to roll over and go to sleep afterwards, or even the one who has forgot to express affection towards my partner until my hormones remind me that being affectionate is a good way to get laid... acting like a loving person really requires that you trust that person, and from what I've seen in my brief life so far, there are a lot of people out there who don't (or can't) trust anyone. I think for the people who aren't loving towards their partner until it's "in their interests," they have a trust issue - they can't share themselves emotionally unless it's part of a "transaction" that they are "getting" something out of (as though the woman is out one sex point afterwards, and the guy has gained one? WTF?). Sad for them!
What I feel is missing from my current sexual experience is that, in my opinion, my partner *cannot* touch me enough - my entire body is an erogenous zone, and it all has to be woken up and made to feel loved before I can focus my energy in any one part. I am happy to return the favor, but I kind of suspect that things are different for my partner (a guy) in ways that I can't just intuit, and that we'll want to talk about.
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Permalink Reply by Sara on -
If a woman doesnt want to fall asleep right after, then somethings not right if you catch my drift:)
Okay maybe not every time, sometimes lazy sex is nice but in minor increments.
I think the ideal sexual experience is as individual as we are. Maybe gender plays a role to some degree, but I know guys that cuddle alot and guys who act like they cant leave the scene fast enough:) I used to be a big cuddler, but not so much anymore. I like intensity. Cuddles are good for picnics on the beach, or leading up to sex. Sex is more like the grande finale to me. A certain level of intimacy definitely needs to be present throughout, otherwise I feel very cheated and will not sleep with that person again.
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Permalink Reply by Colleen on -
Im the same with you. I used to be a cuddler,.. but not so much anymore. There are times when I do like to.. but alot of the time its not after sex. Maybe it was the person I was having sex with that made me not feel like cuddling. IKD. lol. I don't really have an ideal sexual experience. Its different with different people. There are times when I need that deep connection.. the spiritual connection.. and then there time when I just need to get it.. as SOON as possible. Raw, animalistic sex. ^_^
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Permalink Reply by Sara on
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Right, different kinds of sex based on different desires. Sometimes nothing is better than full blown physically expressed earth shattering sex, however there still has to be connection of psyche for me to really enjoy it. I love the psychology of sex. It all really depends on the sort of connection you have with someone, what type of arousal is stirred within you..I like it all as long as were connected and conscious with eachother.
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