Ideal Sexual Experience?

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Permalink Reply by Daphne Bazemore on December 20, 2008 at 9:13am

What to do, what to do. One day my father jokingly told me that maybe I should just steal a man! Hmmmm....just kidding :)

Permalink Reply by Makaranda...=) on December 20, 2008 at 8:34am

Daphne! You get a big Good Karma award from me!!! You deserve a really hard-core awesome man after all the good you have done in that sense. A guy who massages AND is a good dancer, and... =)

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Permalink Reply by Daphne Bazemore on December 20, 2008 at 9:12am

RawTastic you're so sweet! Let me clarify that there are thousands of women who are probably more deserving than I am. But I just used that as an example of my manifesting "challenge", let us say. Oh well. Thanks for beginning this topic. It's revealed an indepth and enlightening discussion.

Permalink Reply by Lorianne on December 21, 2008 at 2:10pm

Let me tell you how I met my husband, this might give you an idea of what I mean..

I'd gotten pretty tired of pointless relationships. The kind that you jump into because you'd rather not be alone, to have company, but aren't really into. I'd completely forgotten what it felt like to be in love, like the first time, it had become foreign.

Then I watched a movie, "The Saint" and I really identified with the main characters, and the way they fell in love, it was so electrifying to me, it sparked something inside me and I thought wow! That's what I'd like to have, someone that's just like me, someone very witty and fun. Someone that understands me.. And since the movie was based in Russia and I found it all so very exotic, I added that to the fantasy: someone from a cold and exotic far away place.

I assumed naturally that if I were to meet such a person it would be when I'm in my early 20s, so I enjoyed the fantasy, let it fill me as though it was real and I let it go.

A week after in a chat room I meet a guy who seemed to take a special interest in me. His wits, sense of humour and patience took me totally by surprise. The more I knew about him the deeper I fell, when I saw him he was perfect to me, and he was Norwegian. I couldn't stop thinking about this special guy. I was 17. We met in person when I was 22.

I don't think much would've happened had I not felt what I wanted, had I not let it fill me, and had I not let it go peacefully.

Desire is when you want something you don't have, and I deeply desired this man once I'd found him, so I had to let him go before he could fully materialize because for as long as I let desire be my reality, I'd only manifest not having what I wanted. Not to mention how unworthy I felt, how imperfect and terrified that he'd be disappointed once he met me. That's what took 5 years, it was a really big deal to me.

That's why worrying about getting or not getting something seems to ruin our ability to have it. And probably where the saying "if you truly love someone, let them go" comes from.

If you know what you want truly, if you feel it in your heart as though it's already there, and if you let it go, knowing that it will come when it will, then that's what you'll manifest.

So the real question would be, why not? Why can't you have it, why shouldn't you have it? Why would it be so hard to imagine that you should have what you desire? Why should you not get what you want, but a funny version of it?

This is what generally brings up personal blocks that get in our way, where we must learn to love ourselves, to truly understand that we do deserve all the good things. But until we do, we'll continue to live in need, desire, not manifesting what we want, etc.

Oftentimes we're convincing ourselves that we're good enough, etc, in our minds. Like fighting a personal inner battle, one side says we're not worthy and we say we are. This is the battle that I surrendered to, I let the 'bad' side have its way, spew all the dirt in my face, I just took it all in. Then since the cards were all layed out I was able to look at them and really see if they were true or not, and you know what? They are never true. But you don't really know till you know.

So this is why self-love and abundance are connected. Just knowing in your heart that there's no reason whatsoever why you don't deserve all the good things you can summon. :)

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Permalink Reply by Daphne Bazemore on December 20, 2008 at 9:09am

Exactly! But some people don't get that until they're forced to be without. Then they're singing a different tune.

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Permalink Reply by Daphne Bazemore on December 20, 2008 at 2:42pm

You're right Starfire (smiling sheepishly). You're darn right about that. Thank you!

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Permalink Reply by Makaranda...=) on December 20, 2008 at 12:58pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PSBi7ziinM

Inspiration video for your comment Shiv.. =)

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Permalink Reply by Mera Magic Meraa on December 19, 2008 at 12:21am

I think it's sad that these stereotypes are placed on both sexes. I think people in general are targeted by the media to make a buck off of someone's fear, lack of confidence and need to fit it in... it's happening with men and women, there was a time when I hung out only with females, I'm a very observative, analytical person by nature, the things I gathered from relationships with women surprisingly connect very deeply with the same things I see with men now, now I only hang out with men, no by choice, just by coincidence. There are inherent gender traits, but they are based on natural elements of existance, not on societal factors, so all of these stereotypes about women/men when it comes to body image, relationships, sex, etc. are really just manifestations or symptoms, if you will of inbalance in my opinion. There is an old feminist part of me that still wants to be defensive by the boxes and lines drawn by so many comments in this thread, but I feel it is only based on our desires to understand ourselves and each other that the gender generalizations are drawn on so heavily. I think as a human society we are largely disassociated with and denatured from our gender based qualities... sex plays a large part in this, how many really connect the dots to the holistic effects of sex on our daily lives?

There was a time in the beginning of my relationship that my partner would say "everything is sexual", I thought this was perverted, but now I feel this is true. Seeing the connections of sex to every part of life and connecting our development and growth with the spirituality or sacred connections can have such amazing effects, but it is such a long process to get out of the mindset of what is expected... these are lower triangle chakra issues that we are brought up to be inbalanced in, there is too much criticism of sex, too much dependence on sex, and too much misinformation and shame to get the gist of such a thing without conscious efffort, unless you were one of the very few who was brought up that way. Anyone who's interested should look up some Yogi Bhajan books and videos on youtube. I"m looking forward to doing some social experiments on the topic too, so if you're interested I need some test subjects!

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Permalink Reply by Daphne Bazemore on December 19, 2008 at 1:18am

What a juicy thread!!!!!!!! For me the ideal sexual experience is making hot, sweaty passionate love to a man who is my lover, my friend and my soulmate. This could be accomplished a myriad number of ways. And also taking that experience to a spiritual dimension whereby the generative properties of sex itseulf could spill over into every area of my life.

The bottom line is that sex IS life and therefore ties in directly to everything we create - babies, art, companies, relationships, movements, causes, etc.

As far as the differences between men and women, I'll say that there is plenty that I still don't understand. But I have found men (soley friends) with whom I had great communication and who were willing to explain their views about life, love and relationships. I actually think open, honest communication is the panacea to so much that ails us. That and respect.

And I'm slowly learning that real love involves accepting someone exactly as they are without needing to change them.

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Permalink Reply by Brad on December 19, 2008 at 1:34am

Well first I am gay, so cuddling with a woman is off limits. Though oddly enough I've had some offers to date woman since going raw with raw hot babes! *blush* gees, I can't believe I just wrote this...Second, in my past relationships with woman, it is simply easy to offer a clitoral orgasm (I almost wrote clitoral program). I've always said its just a matter of taste.
I thought perhaps someone would mention having sex in a banana tree or something fruity.
Although I seem to be celibate these days, I do think it is very important to maintain an emotional comforting consoling relationship. Sex is just over rated!

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Permalink Reply by Makaranda...=) on December 19, 2008 at 2:21am

This is from Andrewcohen.org

I think it describes an all encompassing ideal - of where all this- our chakras, our love and our bliss can manifest on a higher, more extaordinary dimension..

From Spiritual Intoxication to Spiritual Evolution
Whenever I contemplate the mystery of consciousness and how it evolves within and through us, I am always struck by the same thing: How easy it is to see a glorious future in those moments when we are spiritually awake, when our awareness is enlightened—and how difficult it is to see that glory when it is not.

When spirit overwhelms us, when we experience higher states of consciousness, previously unseen worlds open up to us. On the wings of spiritual ecstasy, deeper and higher human capacities for penetrating insight, profound cognition, blissful intimacy, and all-encompassing love reveal themselves in all their glory. It is, in many ways, very similar to what it’s like when we fall in love. When we fall in love, the surging waves of surrendered affection carry with them an experience of a trust and vulnerability that is intoxicating, spiritually fulfilling, and life-affirming. And when we fall out of love, the bond of trust disintegrates, intimacy evaporates, and transparency and vulnerability disappear. The thrill of euphoric unity is gone and one is alone again, trapped in the prison of one’s own personal mind and separate ego.

The same sequence often follows extraordinary episodes of spiritual illumination. When we experience states of consciousness beyond ego and realize spiritual communion with others, we enter into another dimension that literally transcends the old and familiar. And in this new world, we discover a oneness, an ecstatic intimacy, an ease of being, and a unity of mind that make all things possible. But when those higher states eventually dissipate, too often the palpable sense of unlimited possibility is nowhere to be found.

In the new enlightenment, in what I call Evolutionary Enlightenment, the goal is individual and collective conscious evolution in real time. That specifically points to the cocreation of new structures in consciousness, psyche, and culture. It’s about creating the future from the inside out. And this process always begins with transformation at the very deepest depths of our own selves—a transformation that shines out and touches the world around us with the immediacy of its own radiance and potency.

In the early stages of our own spiritual development, we are dependent upon the experience of euphoric states to be able to see, feel, and know that these higher potentials really do exist. The bliss and ecstasy of those states temporarily breaks the deep and often unconscious shackles of postmodernity: nihilism, cynicism, narcissism, and materialism. It frees our awareness to expand in all directions, to embrace not only the outer limits but also the innermost core of our larger body, the entire Kosmos. When we share that liberating existential clarity with others, a truly enlightened perspective emerges. Together we can see and feel, directly cognize, and intuit a glorious future that is possible to create here and now, in the present moment—not as a remote ideal but as the most screamingly imminent potential imaginable.

When many individuals simultaneously know and experience the perfection of the possible, Spirit itself calls us all to its own next step. Indeed, we are compelled to be the future that we see. Under the intoxicating influence of spiritual bliss, all of the individual and collective ego’s fears and attachments are rendered null and void. But until the individual or individuals have actually taken that next step, until those higher potentials have become a permanent attainment, our ability to see the future that we want to create will always depend upon the experience of spiritual intoxication. However, when we do the unthinkable, when we actually and demonstrably evolve to a higher stage beyond the veiling influence of postmodern existential confusion, we will be able to see that future as easily as we see our own face when we look in the mirror. Seeing that glory will no longer be dependent upon the presence of a higher state—because we will already be there. From that point on, we will always only be creating the world that we have already become.

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Permalink Reply by Lightlover on December 19, 2008 at 10:48am

Sex is conducting life, just like water, it is not life itself, but reaches out the possibility to become life.

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