Grieving

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Permalink Reply by Jessica on February 10, 2009 at 2:59am

" I need to do something like a green juice or something to get myself out of this funk" Whilst I am a huge proponent of how great a green juice can make you feel, I definitely think something a touch more substantial is what you need.

First, grieving is a natural process and it is OK to grieve. Of COURSE you’re going to feel pain, hurt, loss, and a multitude of things you may not even be able to put into words given the loss of someone you were close to. It is healthy and necessary for the human spirit to grow, acknowledge what you are feeling and take TIME to deal with it. I am no expert but I am coming from personal experience. If you suppress those emotions, push them further inside of you and continue to not deal with them they can manifest in a multitude of ways in the future, thus bearing a huge impact on your health; both emotionally and physically. All too often we as a society remove ourselves from the emotion of feeling while in fact feeling is the only real reason for our existence and that which we came here for in the first place, is to feel.

Closing up, bottling up, the pain, the maladies the suppression of feeling causes is the main reason why we have a society hacked up on uppers downers and every other pill under the sun, half the people out there are trying to numb themselves out and the others just trying to feel something at all. It's all just such a state of affairs.

Bradley, spend some time doing what feels good to you. What do you enjoy? Is it music, 80's music specifically? Do you dance, do you have one of those cheesy 80's bars by you? At all costs gather some friend together and go. Did the friend you lost like 80's music as well, think of him when your there, play a song for him maybe even. I learned allot from a great friend of mine, the Irish have a great way of dealing with loss, first off they actually DEAL with it, secondly they hold remembrances, a wake there is very different as well. There is much time spend on appreciating a life, telling funny stories, times past, things you loved of them, anecdotes of the way one who has past lived, things they liked, how they would want the ones who are left behind to remember them all in a great and amazing way. Again, I am no expert, I just see what works and they certainly have it far more figured out.

Try to do and find what you love and at all costs stay true to that vision.

Make time to do more and more of what you love. I know it's hard, start off even with once a week if you must, however during this time, you will get small glimpses of your natural state of happiness and retrain yourself to realize what feeling good feels like. Slowly follow it, by increasing the frequency more and more, thus re programming yourself, until this until it will slowly becomes your natural state of being.

Trust me when you are there, you will find, nothing else will do.

It takes time, know your worth it, you’ll get there and if need be, guidance is never too far away.

Namaste.

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Permalink Reply by Brad on February 10, 2009 at 12:37pm

Thanks for these suggestions. I am going to volunteer at one of the agencies my girl friend volunteered with before she passed on to get a sense of closure. I'm not suicidal thank god, just really has thrown me into a loop of grief.

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Permalink Reply by Zoe on February 10, 2009 at 7:52pm

I know how you feel. A close friend killed himself when I was 16, and an ex lover when I was 25 also did the same.
I couldn't go to the funerals of either.
Grieving is normal and natural, it proves that you are alive and have a heart. There is beauty in it, accept your grief don't push it out of the way. It will change into something else in time, everything changes...
Eventually I came to the understanding that both my dear friends made their own decision to check out of here, and that is something I know they didn't do lightly. I have had dreams of both of them where they told me separately, and even together once that I had to live twice as fully for both of them. I know they are at peace and I also know that neither of them could carry on in this world, it really was too much for them.
You are alive though. You have found raw food. You know that there is a way out of the mess that doesn't include checking out of here, but means throwing yourself into vitality and life with gusto. You are here with us on this forum asking for help because you want to be ALIVE. You know that you have found an answer to many of the problems people face, and a community that can bring you the support you need.
Sending you much love and prayers for your inner peace, and for your friend too.

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Permalink Reply by Uti on February 10, 2009 at 9:08pm

A couple of suggestions Bradley. Go for a walk in nature and engage your senses, the smells, feel the bark of a tree, listen for whatever sounds there are, look up at the sky and down at the earth. Those things serve to connect you to the present moment and will give you a respite from your mind. The pain you feel comes from the memories in your mind. For me, and perhaps you too, the pain also comes from my own fear of death which is just another form of the delusion of losing control.

Write your friend who died a letter and tell him how thankful you are for all the positive things you two shared. Tell him that you understand that he was in pain and couldn't talk about it and wanted to leave. Remind him that even though you will be apart that the love you shared as friends endures.

Fold the letter and put it away.

btw my birth name is also Bradley

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Permalink Reply by jen on February 10, 2009 at 11:47pm

you little sweet heart. don't worry, this time will pass, as all experiences do.
remember the loving things about your friend, about your life and yourself.

uping the greens (which makes you alkaline - mood boosting) is an excellent idea. i think that making a raw cacao drink in the morn can be very up lifting, if you're into choc.
drink lots of water. take care of your body. be with people who know you deeply and love you.

i like going to bikram yoga as the class is very meditative. i just make sure to do it 'my' way. often the teachers instruct you to push it really hard. i don't, i just go to feel heat, stretch, relaxation and when my body opens up to the poses...extasy and peace.


bless

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Permalink Reply by Meadow on February 11, 2009 at 12:52am

Bradley, I do hope some of these wonderful suggestions help you - our friends here have sent wonderful messages and good wishes to me, and I hope that I can contribute something back to this community myself, if perhaps it would help you to read some of the comments + ideas on the thread I started; also, I find those 2 videos (icreatereality and rememberingwholeness) which I mentioned to be absolutely fantastic, have watched them over + over when feeling worried or down, so you might like to give them a try. I hope you feel much better soon.

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