Divorce?

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Permalink Reply by Suzie- Smoothie on February 13, 2009 at 4:33pm

Another great book is Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton and he says if there are any feeling of unresolved anger that you have nt acknowledged or discussed then its a good idea to do this face to face and this helps you to move on and prevent you from going over and over any thoughts about that person you were in a relationship...its quite an easy book to read and is really positive too (;

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Permalink Reply by Susan Virginia on February 13, 2009 at 4:35pm

But you left him, you chose to end it... so why not be confident with your decision? 6 weeks later, now isn't the time to be second guessing yourself!

Just keep moving forward, the world is at your doorstep!! :) Its a beginning, not an end.

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Permalink Reply by Abigail on February 13, 2009 at 4:52pm

im not to sure why it bothers me so bad that he has moved on, i guess it affirms that he didn't really care for me at all, something that i have known for along time, feeling like i was never good enough, and him telling me so and proving it by finding someone to replace me so fast, i guess the combination of it all just hurts. To put so much of myself into the relationship and to love so deeply and give so unconditionally just to find that i was right all along in feeling the lack of the return of all that.

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Permalink Reply by Lisa on February 13, 2009 at 5:03pm

You are conscious of what you felt was true and he has gotten on with his life..You empowered yourself by leaving the situation, now continue to empower yourself by moving on too..that doesn't mean you have to find a new partner. Love yourself deeply and unconditionally now like never before...you were right then smile and say yes to your new life! Tomorrow is Valentines day so maybe you can do something for YOU...something that shows that you have unconditional love for You....take the whole day to be with You maybe, treating yourself to whatever you desire..time in Nature, massage, whole foods prepared with love, warm bath with candles you get the idea...it is nice to have someone to love and love you back, but loving ourselves is a big key into healthy relationships. Perhaps if you create some type of a ritual to honor the divorce and let it go as a rite of passage....this may help too...

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Permalink Reply by Susan Virginia on February 13, 2009 at 5:07pm

Are you seeing someone else now too?

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Permalink Reply by Krishna on February 13, 2009 at 5:22pm

Hi Abigail

Sharing of thoughts of sadness with friends really relieve you of lots of mental pain. Sharing is a good thing. We are here to hear your thoughts of pain and suffering. We all need somebody to listen to, somebody who can offer shoulder for crying, somebody who can spend time to be with physically or emotionally and be an emotional supporter. We all are creatures of circumstances. not bad in ourselves. There is no reason to find faults with ourselves. Life is too short and fragile. Let us at least try to laugh from inside and marvel at the wonders that our body can do for us and what we can do for our body and self. Feel free to e-mail me.

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Permalink Reply by Abigail on February 13, 2009 at 5:44pm

it is relieving, today has been a bit of a release, but there is still so much sadness, and stress. thank you for your words, they really do help, it helps to know that there are people out there that can bring a little comfort.

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Permalink Reply by Martbook on February 13, 2009 at 5:52pm

Yes, everything is going to be allright. I went through a divorce two years ago and for a time I thought my world was ending. I feel that tumultous times like this are a form of healing crisis. It is not really the end of something. It is a shedding of things that don't work for you anymore and the ripening of new opportunity. As we begin to process issues we have been sublimating and begin to face them, it really does feel like pain. But this too shall pass.

The Chinese symbol for "chaos" is a combination of two other symbols: 'danger' & 'opportunity'. This is a wonderful opportunity for a leap in growth for you.

All of life is really about us...I know it sounds selfish, but other beings in our lives are only part of our own conscious creation. They are mirror for us to learn from. So I suggest you take this time to focus on you and your journey, and don't dwell on the Ex. He was merely a mirror for you to workshop on.

Keep breathing. This too shall pass. Keep breathing. This too shall pass!!!!

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Permalink Reply by Abigail on February 13, 2009 at 11:00pm

of all the different replies this one helped the most, thank you. This too shall pass.....

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Permalink Reply by Martbook on February 13, 2009 at 11:34pm

Your welcome.
I did not handle my divorce well and I didn't feel many people were supportive. My favorite response was one St Patricks Day a friend who I hadn't seen since the divorce walked by me very drunk, stopped to hold my hand and looked into my eyes and asked "How are you doing?' She didn't lecture me or tell me what to do or to "get over it"

I decided that when friends are having an emotional crisis I only ask them three things: 1) Whats going on with you? 2) How do you feel about it? 3) What can I do to support you?

And so I ask you the same three things. And know that you are not alone.

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Permalink Reply by Abigail on February 14, 2009 at 3:27pm

thank you so much, it feels really good to know that someone else understands what i am going through, i am sick of feeling like i am burdening people with my emotions. honestly there is something so real and raw about these emotions, they, in a way, make me feel alive, i think i am really beginning to embrace it. This too shall pass

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Permalink Reply by Abigail on February 13, 2009 at 11:21pm

I have great people surrounding me, and i still feel like i cant function properly. This was the best move for me and my kids but i still can't seem to get over it. thank you for your words, they are comforting, it is nice to know that i am not alone in the world. I am going out tonight to try and let go and just enjoy myself for once. my ex has the kids overnight so maybe i can just release a little.

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