Got Bulimia?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Alicia A. on October 28, 2008 at 10:39am

I'm not a bulimic myself, but I'm the daughter of a recovering (are you ever really recovered?) bulimic, so I just wanted to wish you the best of luck in your recovery! It's a hard fight--my mom was a bulimic from just after when I was born (so far as I know) for several years and I know she had a hard time recovering (not the least of which was because she insisted on going it alone) so I'm really glad you're reaching out for help. Support, IMO, makes a big difference in addiction recovery...when I flirted with alcoholism, I might've fallen all the way down the rabbit hole if my friends hadn't reached out and yanked me back from the edge.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Amanda on October 28, 2008 at 10:41am

Michele,

I've struggled many many years with an eating disorder. In my experience and knowledge of the disease, there is no human power, or "knowledge" or wisdom, self help books, that we can obtain about the disorder and still expect to get recovered. Many times we blame this on our "will" we just arn't strong enough to stop. (We have a mentally obsessions which triggers our physically allergy) Meaning once we start, within the mind, it triggers the body and we cannot stop. I can remember trying to stop so so many times an I never could. It just left me with a lower self esteem then I already had.

But today.... !!! :) I work a 12 step program EDA I work my step's from the Big Book with my sponsor and have many many woman I call throughout the day to check in. The program changed my life. I couldn't get out of my own head. I was so self-absorbed in my self. What I was going to eat, when, how much, when I was going to work out, my weight, ugh it was horrible. A true true nightmare. I don't live like that anymore today.

Please share your story!! And also let's start calling each other on the phone, if your okay with that. :)

<3<3 Big hug to you dear

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Michele on October 28, 2008 at 2:41pm

Amanda,
First off thank you so much for responding. I don't know if you know who Natalia Rose is but I have spoken to her and have read much of her material. Her take on ED's is that first you have to conquer the physical in order to free the mind. I am certainly having spiritual and emotional issues that I feel will be much easier to deal with once i conquer the physical, but i also feel it wouldn't hurt to work on all of these at once. I am so grateful that you have written to me and am so happy that you have recovered and don't have to live in this mess anymore. It really takes over everything! You are a true inspiration! Where are you from? Phone or email would be great!! Write me back!

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Rebeka on October 28, 2008 at 11:06am

Hi Michelle. I was bullemic a number of years ago but I have been battling compulsive eating for most of my life. I thought raw foods alone would conquer my eating disorder but I have learned the hard way that you can know everything there is to know about excersise and nutrition but it won't compensate for old wounds.

I started raw January 2008 and I'm still raw. I am not perfect. I have strayed many times but it's okay because for me it's a journey. Everyone's journey is different. I have realized my mistakes and am now begining to reach an equiibrium. I have been yo yoing between a strict diet of high raw and very minimal cooked and dehydrated + excersizing up to 3-4 hours a day and then weeks of eating untill I was stuffed even emotionally and not excersizing at all.

Dieting will never get you anywhere. This is something that I've learned the hard way. I also learned that YOUR weight doesn't measure your quality of life. Right now I am reading a book that I highly recomend. I know it speaks to bing eaters but people who suffer with various eating dissorders have the same root problems.

As I decrease cooked food from my raw lifestyle, my feelings become stronger. I feel strongly about certain aspects of my life specifically the relationships I have with my parents. So I'm learning about how I react to my feelings. I haven't noticed that I eat to repress my rage or any uncomfortable emotion I have. Sometimes I binge eat to repress the desires that I have in life. I know it's complicated. This particular author states that we respond to what has hurt us in the past. Her philosophy is to cultivate a healthy relationship within yourself.

I am in the process of breaking the binge/dieting habit. You can do it. It boils down to the fact that you need to get to the root of the problem. At this present moment what is making you so upset that is driving you to do this? Write a journal every day of your thoughts and how you feel. Take walks. Give youself positive affirmations every day. Consider possibly joing Over Eaters Anonymous which includes people dealing with bulemia and anorexia (free support group). It is also about developing and maintaining healthy habits too.

I want you to do well and be healthier. I have been struggling with bing eating and now I'm trying to overcome it once and for all. For me the worse is almost over. That is the great thing about raw is that your healthy habits are now apart of your life. Nature is an ultimate healer. There are no pills or surgery that can replace the positive, life changing affects raw foods has on the body.

I believe you can overcome this. I believe in you. The book is called: Loosing Your Pounds of Pain: Breaking the Link Between Abuse, Stress and Overeating by Doreen Virtue

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Mandy on October 29, 2008 at 12:04am

That sounds like an awesome book. Thanks for sharing. I'm going to check out the library and see if they have it tomorrow! :)

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Michele on October 28, 2008 at 11:55am

Girlfriend you should definitely be writing! You are reaching out whether it be to receive help or to just vent and share. My story has been so long and drawn out and I have had every eating disorder in the book. And 7 times is nothing compared to the 20-30 I have experienced myself. I know what you mean. You feel like you cannot stop it! The most important part of recovery is wanting to do it. There were times I was in recovery but I wasn't ready or willing to really do it. I completely understand if you are not ready yet. But if you are, I know that we can do this together and I have a meal plan and everything that I am sure can work but we cannot do it alone... You are beautiful and there is no reason we have to keep living this way.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Wildearthchild on October 28, 2008 at 12:35pm

Just want to mention another site called 'Daily Strength'. It's been a really amazing tool for me in dealing with my eating disorder. (I'm not bulimic, but I definitely have suffered from ED all of my life!) Kudos to you for reaching out, the best way to cope with these things is with support of others who are struggling to change.

The link for that site is: www.dailystrength.org

(I hope that's not infringing on any GI2MR post rules...I guess I'll find out!

Namaste

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sara on October 28, 2008 at 3:00pm

When i was 16-17 I went through a bulimic period. i can personally say this stemmed from a depression which came from feeling so out of control in my life. Bulimia for me was all about having control in one aspect when I felt helpless elsewhere. It was long ago but i remember feeling empowered and disgusted with myself simultaneously. Your underlying causes and triggers may be different. All I can say is you have to pull the tree out from the roots. its the only way. Just the fact that your willing to share this information speaks volumes.
Have you read up on bulimia and the harmful effects in has on your body? This may be encouraging if you havnt already.
Curves are beautiful, women are not supposed to look like little boys! Just be healthy, and the rest will fall into place:)

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Amanda on October 28, 2008 at 3:16pm

Awareness alone avails us nothing. We can be fully conscious of our self hatred, dishonesty, self centerdness, crippling fears, and illusions of control, and yet remain impotent to change these defective mental characteristics.

I myself needed a complete OVERHAUL. I needed to replace my old ideals with new ideals. Truthfully, I started raw foods, to lose more weight when I was already thin. Raw foods help me a lot with my respect and relationship towards food, but in my experience it did not cure me. Because recovery isn't about the FOOD, it is about the feelings. Whether it's raw, cooked, roasted, whatever, its never about the food.

As eating disorders we use our ED to COPE with everything. We most become honest with ourselves, do you know if took me 8 years, and going into a treatment center for me to actually realize that I had a problem? And even still I wasn't sure when I was in treatment. I could justify ANYTHING. That is how scary this disease is and can become. I strongly encourage finding a 12 step meeting, along with self helps programs, books etc.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Amanda on October 28, 2008 at 3:21pm

You realize the high of being skinny isn't worth the low, of depression, isolation, entrapment, of a suicidal destiny, day by day, bone by bone. You soon realize this disease, comes slowly…it doesn't take over all at once, it comes month by month, year, by year, Intel it engulfs your whole being. No longer is there a choice, your actions with food no longer belong to you. They have been abused, destroyed, distorted, entangle, dominated, by the one thing you so truly love..quickly turns to an untamable hate, a prison with bars so powerful no one, nor no thing can break through. This is it, impersonated, by deathing thoughts, calories, weights, measurements, exercise, puking, binging, bones, numbers, food…all life is gone. This disease has shamed you, has left you feeling guilty, unworthy, unloved, an anything from good enough. The days are life less…there is no laughs anymore, nor tears, you can't remember the last time you felt an emotion..other then anger, frustration, or paranoia, the days of being happy, innocent and free, seem to almost look ridiculous, an illusion.
Mean while everyone around you is moving to your beats, your rhythm, afraid to speak of anything that might throw you over the edge, friends get pushed away, family gets silenced, an you are left alone, right where he wants you to be. In a place where all you have is him, to starve away, to run 20 miles from, to binged, to purge, to weep, to fall…completely into the arms of devastation. The mirror tells you lies, you do not know the difference anymore, your lost, and trapped in a body you've been forced to so deeply an utterly despise. This is what I call an EATING DISORDER.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Amanda on October 28, 2008 at 3:23pm

Check out this books ladies it is very helpful

Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Michele on October 28, 2008 at 4:27pm

MY LORD YOU ARE ON THE MONEY!

▶ Reply to This

• First
• Previous
• Next
• Last